Think of it like this, if your driving a loud sports car, you’d have to play your music very loud to be able to have a good listening experience, whereas if you played it when inside an isolated bedroom you’d only have to volume very low. The lower volume saves your ears.

I also have the ear ringing sound your experiencing (aint it painful! lol). Its not because of the music but probably because your removing too much ear wax! Try to lay off the ear buds LOL! When I was about 18 the ringing sound was horrible (especially when on the phone) and lasted till I was 20. My doctor said that it’ll slowly go away when I stop drying my ear canal after showers – however expect it to last for 2 years or so.
References :
I’ve been through what your going through.

If you want to go to lighter and cheap , JVC makes really really loud and good in-ear headphones called GUMI for about 8.99. They come in a wide range of colors and are really light. It can be louder than iPod headphones so I’m guessing that it can also block out engine noises. The problem I’ve had with it is that when my iPod accidentally goes into maximum volume with them, they end up being so loud that the person two rows away from me can hear my my music.

I hope you have a nice and safe travel. =)
References :

The first kind just pipes in white noise. White noise is random noise kind of like radio static. It cancels out a lot of the background noise on planes.

The Bose however actually have little microphones on them that "hear" the background noise and then create an inverse sound wave, effectively cancelling the background noise. This way is much more effective and quieter than the white noise way.

There are other noise cancelling headphones than the Bose that work this way as well. Just make sure that you get the ones that cancel the noise and not the ones that pipe in white noise. You’ll pay more for them, but you’ll be glad you did.

Enjoy your flight.
References :
Lots of frequent flier miles and…
http://www.bose.com/controller?event=VIEW_PRODUCT_PAGE_EVENT&product=headphones_anc_subcategory

Sound isolating earphones were originally developed as Personal Monitor Systems to allow musicians to hear their own performances in loud onstage environments. Sound isolating earphones work by using soft, pliable sleeves to block background noise, allowing small, high-performance drivers to deliver incredibly precise sound directly to the ear. These professional-quality earphones are now available for use with all of your portable digital devices. The seal created by a sound isolating earphone physically blocks most frequencies of background noise. Active noise cancellation "headphones" are generally larger, heavier and battery-driven. The active cancellation process negates selected frequencies through a complex process that can even introduce unwanted artifacts into the resulting audio. The natural sound isolation properties of a properly fitted in ear earphone exceeds the performance of even the most expensive active noise cancellation alternatives. Sound isolation makes it possible to hear greater detail at a lower volume than is possible with earbuds or most headphones intended for portable use. Lower-volume listening means less fatigue over extended periods and is safer than trying to overcome background noise by turning up the volume. This makes sound isolating earphones the ideal choice for commuting, travel, exercise, study, or work – any activity where you desire portable, hi-fidelity sound.

Sound Engineers use them to monitor the mixer board during live performances while isolating their ears from main speakers.

Stage and Studio Drummers
use them when they want to hear how drums are being mixed without having head-phones at high volume.

These headphones allow Studio Musicians to hear only the studio mix during recording – eliminating costly return trips to the control room.

You can use them at Stadium and Dome Events to listen to "LIVE" broadcasts at medium volume and block out most stadium noise while watching the game.

They also use them in NASCAR" by using an inexpensive stereo to mono plug, the scanner can plug into his or her scanner and have the best isolation available to monitor the pit crews and driver.

Sound isolating headphones work like an earplug to block background noise naturally. This enables you to listen comfortably at lower volumes-even in loud environments. And unlike bulky headphones utilizing active noise cancellation technology, no artifacts are introduced into your listening experience. Sound isolating earphones are also much smaller and don’t require batteries.

Some headphones are safer than others read this medical article:http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2006/10/19/health/webmd/main2109712.shtml
References :
http://www.extremeheadphones.com/

http://www.shurestore.com/earphones/eseries_e3c.html
http://www.bestheadphones.com.au/sit/soundisolating.html